Worst Team Names in Sports

Fail, Humor, Sports

No matter how good or bad your team might be, there’s something to be said for having a cool team name.  Sometimes, however, your team just doesn’t have a cool name.  It can be because of tradition, city or state relevance, or because whomever was naming the team was an idiot.  That being said, here are some of the worst team names in sports.

Richmond Flying Squirrels

Richmond Flying Squirrels

I figured I would start off with my home team.  An AA minor league team for the San Francisco Giants, they were a replacement for the far better named Richmond Braves.  To be honest, I don’t know that I’ve ever seen a flying squirrel outside of a zoo, let alone in the city of Richmond.

University of Akron Zips

University of Akron Zips

I’m not entirely sure what a Zip is, though if you’re to believe the University of Akron logo it’s some type of kangaroo.  While some believe it’s a reference to the overshoe sold by BF Goodrich that was popular in the 20’s and 30’s, I think it’s just a poor choice of name for a team.

Houston Texans

Houston Texans

It’s just lazy.  We know that if you’re from Houston your a Texan – it’s the damn state!  Really the Dallas Cowboys have more claim to this name than Houston, and it just shows you that there are no good names left for sports franchises.

Georgetown Hoyas

Georgetown Hoyas

In the ten minutes of research I did for this article, it appears that “hoya” is a Greek word for “what”.  That’s right Georgetown grads – you’re the Georgetown Whats.  I’ve visited Georgetown before, and I will admit that walking around campus trying to find my way did produce the question of “what?” more than once, so perhaps it’s an apt name for their teams.

Alabama Crimson Tide

Alabama Crimson Tide

The menstration jokes pretty much write themselves.  I was unable to figure out why they’re called the Crimson Tide beyond that the school colors are crimson, so if you know why they’re called that please chime in.  On top of that, I have exactly zero idea as to why a team called the Crimson Tide would have an elephant as their mascot.

Ohio State Buckeyes

Ohio State Buckeyes

Most people ask what a buckeye is.  Apparently it’s a tree that produces a small hairless nut, which is represented by Brutus, the school mascot.  I suppose going by “Buckeye” is better than “Small Hairless Nut”, but only marginally so, especially when your main school rival has the team name of Wolverines.

South Carolina Gamecocks

South Carolina Gamecocks

Much like the University of Alabama, the jokes sorta write themselves.  While I’m well aware that a gamecock is a real animal – a type of rooster – I’m sure there are other aggressive birds that South Carolina could have chosen from, especially those not associated with cockfighting, when picking a name for their athletic teams.

Wake Forest Demon Deacons

Wake Forest Demon Deacons



The fact that this school hasn’t changed their team names with pressure from religious groups astounds me.  I’m assuming a Demon Deacon is some sort of satanic preacher, but it’s entirely possible that it’s something else.

Purdue Boilermakers

Purdue Boilermakers

So I get that a boilermaker is a person that works in the steel industry, but given that Purdue is in Indiana (which may or may not have a large steel industry, I really don’t know/care), and that Pennsylvania has long been associated with steel production, you’d think they could have come up with something that really screams “Indiana”.

Oklahoma Sooners

Oklahoma Sooners

A sooner is a reference to the settlers that first moved into what is now Oklahoma back in the late 1800’s.  Thanks to Wikipedia, I am probably one of about a dozen people that know that.

Miami/Carolina Hurricanes

Miami Hurricanes

Both the University of Miami and the NHL’s Carolina team use the Hurricanes moniker, though I think it’s fair to assume that “The U” is more well-known.  I’m sorta against using natural disasters as a team name, particularly in light of the disaster that was Hurricane Katrina.  You’d think a state that had been devastated by Hurricane Andrew would have a much more stand-offish feel to hurricanes.

Oklahoma City Thunder

Oklahoma City Thunder

So their old name, the Seattle Supersonic or “Sonics”, wasn’t much better, but much like our last entry, I just don’t feel that Thunder is a great name.  Oklahoma has to have some natural wildlife that would make a better team name than the Thunder.

UC Santa Cruz Banana Slugs

UC Santa Cruz Banana Slugs

What bet was lost that this school had to go with Banana Slugs as their athletic team names.  Not only does it sound about as un-intimidating as you can get, it’s got SLUG in the name.

Pace University Setters

Pace University Setters

That’s right this school is the Pace Setters.  It sorta makes your brain hurt.  At least I get why the Indiana Pacers are called that – pace cars – but the Pace Setters?  Puns are the lowest form of humor and Pace University should be ashamed of itself.

University of Evansville Purple Aces

University of Evansville Purple Aces

I’m really at a loss for words.  Might as well call themselves the Dandies and be done with it.

Evergreen State College Geoducks

Evergreen State College Geoducks

Go ahead and look up what a geoduck is, I’ll wait.  You back?  Disgusting isn’t it?  The weirdest thing – geoducks (pronounced “gooey-ducks” by the way) are actually eaten.  Yeah, I’m a little nauseated too.

This is by no means a complete list of the worst team names in sports – I only mentioned one minor league baseball team and I KNOW there are more out there just as bad.  If you’ve got some good ones, I want to hear it.

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