Worst Mutant Powers Ever

Comics

At some point in all our lives we’ve wanted to be a super-hero.  For those that have read Marvel Comics, mutant powers have always been a draw.  The X-Men (and their villains) have always had the coolest powers.  Wolverine and his healing factor, Magneto’s control over all things metal, and who wouldn’t like to shoot blasts of energy from their eyes like Cyclops?

However, in the course of creating a vibrant world of super powered heroes, Marvel has created some characters that have powers that just aren’t that great.  Maybe there’s a fatal flaw, or maybe somebody was just phoning it in when they pitched the character, but either way, here are some of the worst mutant powers in the Marvel Universe.

Sunspot

Sunspot

Punching this guy in the gut will work as well on him as it does on me

A former member of the New Mutants, Roberto DaCosta absorbs energy from the sun to increase his strength and to allow him to fly and project energy from his hands as an attack.  Sounds pretty good right?  Just one problem – Sunspot may be the only character in history that is strong and not invulnerable.  Sunspot can’t take any more damage from a punch than you or I.  It’s such an issue that it’s even become a joke within the comics, with Sunspot pointing out to his teammates that he’s strong, not invulnerable.

Tag

Tag

Tag! You're the lamest!

While de-powered (and now dead), Brian Cruz had the ability, while physically touching them, to “tag” somebody.  This tagging would cause people in the surrounding area to be either drawn to this person or repelled by this person.  While causing your teammates to uncontrollably flee you might be a good tactical move in theory, the fact that this ability required him to touch you means you had to see it coming.  About the only area where this would be a good ability would be as a riot cop, tagging yourself to drive back the crowds.  As a mutant power being used to battle villains, I see this kid meeting a swift end from somebody with a real power.  This is what happens when you don’t stop your kids from playing tag as they get older – they grow up, go to work for Marvel, and create lame characters.

Leech

Leech

Sucking away your mutant power with his sucky one

A mutant power that will essentially guarantee that you have no mutant friends except for those that hate their powers.  This power wouldn’t be all that terrible if you could turn it off and on, but Leech’s inability to do so makes him as much a liability as an asset in battle.  Sure, being able to nullify Magneto’s powers makes him easier to defeat, but given that getting close to him will nullify the abilities of all your allies too sorta leaves things at a stalemate.  Take into account his appearance making him stand out in a crowd, and this is clearly a character created by somebody that didn’t like the character the second they thought of them.

Cypher

Cypher

Does not speak the language of love

Nerd alert!  While this power might be great for a world traveler, in the realm of super heroes, this is a power that gets you killed – in fact it did get Cypher killed.  While I don’t have any real issue with brain powers, having one that doesn’t let you do anything but talk isn’t going to get your very far on the battlefield.  A career in the CIA probably would have provided just as much excitement without quite the danger of being killed by a super villain.

Maggott

Maggott

A ladies man he ain't

Well with a name like that you know it can’t be good.  His digestive system replaced by two giant slugs that can consume just about anything, imbuing him with a temporary boost in strength, Maggott has hands down the most disgusting power ever.  While having the slugs able to eat through anything is handy, their being damaged or separated from him causes him harm and is an easy way to take him out of the game without ever laying a finger on him.



Bishop

Bishop

Wouldn't last two seconds in the Wild West

Being able to absorb energy and either redirect it or store it to make yourself stronger and slightly invulnerable sounds like a good idea, especially when dealing with villains that shoot lasers from their eyes, ears, nose, mouth, hands, and other places.  Just one problem with the power – bullets.  While Bishop may be able to take on the baddest energy projecting villain around, a thug with a six-shooter may actually be his greatest nemesis.

Forge

Forge

MIT wouldn't accept him

I truly believe that they created Forge just to have an out on all the crazy stuff that exists in the world of the X-Men.  At a certain point you can only get so much stuff from alien races and just have to start building it yourself, so why not have a guy on the team that can build anything he imagines?  Forge is an MIT grad and Deus Ex Machina all wrapped into one.  Any time the X-Men need something they don’t already have, they just have Forge build it.  While he’s built some amazing things through the years, he’s built just as many things that caused the X-Men headaches (power dampening gun anybody?).

Kleinstock Brothers

Kleinstock Brothers

Closer than brothers should ever be

The ability to fly and fire plasma blasts from your hands?  That’s cool.  The ability to merge with your twin brothers into a single entity?  That’s just plain creepy.  Originally triplets, Sven and Harlan are the only two remaining after their brother Eric died.  Running around as super-villains following Magneto may have given them a little cache, but at the end of the day, everybody knows that at some point down the line, Sven and Harlan are going to merge into one body in the creepiest way possible.  Haven’t we learned by now that the only good twins in comics are Xamot and Tomax of GI Joe?

Wallflower

Wallflower

How does that make you feel?

Pheromone powers?  I mean, we get that she’s a teenage girl.  But pheromones?  Hasn’t the perfume/cologne industry been giving us this power for decades?  There are so many other mutants that can control thoughts via telepathy that it seems like a total waste to give somebody the power to emit pheromones.  The worst part is that she can’t actually give them thoughts, only influence their emotional state.  While calming a crowd with pheromones sounds like a good idea, I’m guessing most super-villains are too high strung to really be affected by her.

Domino

Domino

This is what luck looks like

The ability to alter luck into her favor.  Domino has possibly the lamest mutant power ever.  While I don’t disagree with the saying “It’s better to be lucky than good” there’s the understanding that luck is blind, unplanned, and probably won’t happen again.  You can dress her power up as probability altering all day long, but at the end of the day, it’s a power that lets her do completely insane things and get away with it because she’s “lucky”.

Did I miss somebody?  Think I’m completely off my rocker?  Tell me about it.

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