Inappropriate Children’s Toys

Bizarre, Fail, Humor

So I’ll be the first to admit that things have changed a lot since I was a small child, but at the end of the day, some things are just inappropriate for any child, especially a small one.  Here are some good examples of toys that you probably shouldn’t let your child have in their play room.  Some are intentionally inappropriate, some just have bad placement of key components of the product.

Newborn Jager

Ok, so this is probably more a gag-gift for the parents, but still – a stuffed bottle of Jager as a present for a newborn is a bit inappropriate whether the kid knows what it is or not.

9-11 Toy

Yes this one was recalled, but the fact that somebody in a marketing department didn’t raise issue with this is a bit sad.  In what world would anybody think this was a good idea?

Hot Wheels Models

Ok, so they’re not exactly children’s toys, but having girls that look like that dressed up like that while marketing for Hot Wheels does send a bit of a bad message.  I’d understand if this was for NASCAR or some other racing related event, but at the end of the day, Hot Wheels are for kids.

Packaging Fail

This falls under the heading of unintentionally inappropriate.  Small plastic dinosaurs are great for children of the correct age, but the manner in which these were packaged is a bit less appropriate.

Pee n Poo

Sure, everyone poops, but really?  Really.

Phallic Pooh

I have yet to meet the small child that doesn’t like Winnie the Pooh.  This is one of those toys that a child will find years later as an adult and wonder what their parents were thinking in giving it to them.  I’m wondering that too.

Phallic Sled

A child is supposed to sit on this and wraps their hands around the….shaft.

Phallic Unicorn

I understand that little girls like unicorns, but if you’re going to make them a stuffed toy, the horn still HAS to come to a point of some kind.  It cannot be rounded at the top.  It just can’t.

Pole Dance

There is failure on so many levels here that I don’t even know where to begin.

Shave the Baby

Never minding the wildly inappropriate amounts of hair that this toy has…why does a child need to know how to shave?  I wonder how many kids are going to go after their newborn baby brother or sister with a straight razor because of this toy.  Hopefully none.

Stuffed Guts

I liked playing Operation as a kid too, but at an age appropriate time.  This is stuffed, which implies it’s for smaller children.  That’s a bit…visceral for a toddler in my opinion.

Stuffed STD

I really hope this is a joke, but I’m worried that it’s not.

Tattoo Gun

I know that the kids in the picture are a bit older, but they’re still kids.  What parent thinks this is a good idea?

T-Rex Slide

Unintentionally inappropriate.  Again, didn’t somebody, somewhere during the design phase of this inflatable slide raise their hand and point out how this would look?

Twisted Batman

Poor Batman

Water Wiennie

I think the name of this toy pretty much says it all.


They really couldn’t find a slightly more appropriate spot to place the thing you use to inflate this toy?  I find that hard to believe.  You’d thing Marvel at the very least would have said something.  You have failed me Stan Lee.

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