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Cartoon Medical Disorders

We all loved cartoons growing up.  The characters were wacky, funny, and over the top.  But looking back at cartoon characters of past and present, it’s blatantly obvious that many of them have severe medical disorders that are no laughing matter.

Popeye the Sailor Man – Cancer

Popeye the Sailor Man

Overlooking his addiction to canned spinach and the delusions of power that it appears to give him, the massive tumors in this characters forearms should have raised concerns amongst his loved ones and certainly with any medical professional.  There’s no telling what long lasting effects having the tumors removed will have on the patient, but it’s a fair assumption that he will lose his arms below the elbow.

Wile E Coyote – Masochism

Wile E. Coyote

In what world is strapping yourself to a giant rocket a good idea?  Wile E Coyote’s desire to catch his prey is admirable, but the self-destructive manner in which he’s approaching his goal is sure to lead to years of rehabilitation from broken bones, brain trauma, and severe burns.  An aggressive course of therapy is the only hope this character has to lead a healthy life.

Garfield the Cat – Eating Disorder

Garfield the Cat

Garfield’s owner, Jon Arbuckle, must be held accountable for some of Garfield’s issues.  Allowing your cat to eat lasagna is a questionable decision at best, but ignoring his rampant over-eating is irresponsible.  Removing the patient from the care of Mr. Arbuckle and placing him in a treatment facility that specializes in eating disorders should help the patient recover, especially when coupled with a healthy work-out schedule.

Tigger – ADHD/Possible Meth Addiction

Tigger

Until a blood screening can rule out an addiction to meth, the patient should be treated for both a chemical dependence and for ADHD.  Tigers were never meant to bounce on their tails, and Tigger’s speech patterns show signs of mania that may be a symptom of either his addiction or of something more sever.  Treatment for his possible chemical dependence and for his hyper-active disorder are in order before attempting to re-integrate him with others of his kind.

He-Man/Prince Adam – Dissociative Identity Disorder

He-Man

More commonly known as Split Personality Disorder, integrating the two personalities together will be difficult.  While the Prince Adam personality is often humble and meek, the He-Man personality is one of of virility and power (the personality name itself is a repeating of male terms), and he in fact claims to be “The Master of the Universe”.  While the He-Man personality doesn’t seem to be aware of the Prince Adam one, Prince Adam is very aware of his second personality, often using a sword to bring it to the front when confronted with stress.

Prince Adam must be shown healthier ways of dealing with the stress in his life, and hopefully this can help to re-integrate the He-Man personality into his main personality, giving him the confidence he lacks as Prince Adam, while allowing him to form healthier bonds with those around him.

Glen Quagmire – Sexual Addiction/Fetish/STD

Glen Quagmire

I fear seeing the results of Mr. Quagmire’s STD tests, but that not withstanding, serious steps need to be made to address his serious sexual addictions.  Mr. Quagmire regularly engages in high-risk sexual behavior that is sure to have long-lasting medical and legal ramifications.  Time spent in a facility designed to deal with sexual addictions is the clear first step, but I fear that chemical castration may be the only solution as Mr. Quagmire seems unlikely to want to alter his behavior and have a healthy sexual relationship with any woman.

Calvin – Hallucinations/Delusions

Calvin and Hobbes

The fact that the patient is six years old makes this case even more disturbing.  The patient’s insistence that his stuffed tiger “Hobbes” is an actual tiger that walks around on two legs and talks with him would be adorable in a child that was still making meaningful relationships with children their own age.  Calvin, however, seems to have no other relationships beyond a passing one with a neighborhood girl Sally, and then he often self-destructs anytime the relationship progresses at the behest of the “Hobbes” character.

Normally I would recommend separating Calvin from his stuffed tiger, but I’m afraid of his reaction should anybody try and remove Hobbes from his possession.  While I’m loathe to heavily medicate a six year old, I fear that it may be the only option to remove the stuffed animal and allow him to focus on therapy.

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9 Comments

  1. Pingback: Eating Disorders and Adolescents | Parenting Help Me

  2. How could you forget Charlie Brown's inferiority complex, you blockhead.

  3. Good one, Lucy! lol

  4. You missed Homer Simpson's eating disorder,

    Mr Garrison's multiple personality's of Mr hat and Mr twig,

    Goofy's brain damage, And Kyle's little brother for being Canadian!! JK Canada

  5. Pluto thinks he is a dog.. or goofy thinks he is a human being ;)… Donald has has damaged voice due of cigarettes or alcohol

  6. Eeyor + his depression!

  7. Don't forget Scooby Doo, he's a talking dog who eats too much

  8. what the flying fuck? Calvin's neighbour is named SUSIE. jesus h christ.

  9. Man i am thinking that these medical disorders are so dangerous that they have caught even the cartoons and have been spread into them. By the way its really a very nice and funny post. Thanks for posting.