Bizarre Craigslist Advertisements

Fail, featured, Humor

Craig Newmark first began Craigslist in 1995. It started out as a list of friends who posted and shared forthcoming events in the San Fransisco Bay area. Since then it has become a web based service which not only covers the US but also most other countries worldwide.

Today it is a network of online communities which host online classified advertisements. They host everything including jobs, housing, personals, gigs and discussion forums. Jobs are the only ads to be charged for being posted at the moment, however if it is a low paid or unpaid job or even an internship then there is no charge. Basically, it’s mostly free to post your adverts there. In Britain,  the equivalent is called Gumtree.

Craigslist reportedly has no interest in making huge profits claiming that instead it prefers to help it’s users find jobs, homes and cars. The site’s main revenue comes from the $25 charge applied to job adverts ($75 in San Fransisco Bay area). Although Craiglsist doesn’t share it’s financial information, analysts have estimated that it’s figures would have been around $10 million in 2004 growing to a massive $150 million in 2007. This obviously proves that it’s huge success and makes you consider the profit it will make this year!

Craigslist does,  however seem to get some unusual and weird ads that get placed on their site. Here are a selection of some of the best of them…

Drunk Clown

Drunk Clown

The ad read:

“We need an adult drunk clown who is good at getting drunk and stupid. No need to do any clown tricks, just hang out and drink a sh*t load. We will be hopping around to different bars and want a clown to tag a long and drink heavily. He doesn’t even need to socialize with anyone, just drink.”

Why? Maybe they will get a kick out of this poor clown falling down drunk or getting arrested?  Or, are they just looking to spice up their Facebook photos?

Lost Llamas

Lost Llamas

The ad read:

“woke up this morning, the fence is knocked right over and our 3 llama’s are missing.

1 – about 6 ft tall female with brown markings on face

2 – about 4 ft tall female (baby of #1) with off-white colour

3 – black/brown 5 ft tall male”

It’s a bit weird posting lost llamas on Craigslist, but I suppose when you really want to find your llamas, you need to put the message out there to a lot of people!

Man Looking for Love?

Looking for Love

The ad read:

“I am 6 ft , 174 Ib, blonde, longish hair and blue eyes. I have NO tattoos, wear clothes from Armani and H&M, I like to do just about anything. I like to workout regular as you can tell from pics. I have a home in PALM BEACH FL Show me that you’re different in some way. Trying to build myself more and more everyday.”

Now who would advertise themselves on Craigslist? Actually, lots of people, through the personals and the “missed connections” section.  His post was in “gigs.”  Go figure.

Projectile Vomit

people on the bus...

The ad read:

“He was sitting behind me when it happened. He apologized, but also said it was just tea and he can’t help it if he has convulsions. I wiped my hair and tried to leave early, but he ran after me and said I should stay or he would feel terrible. I see him tonight and don’t want to be impolite, but I don’t want to be next to him. How can I put him off without hurting his feelings?”

Take it she was on a date with a freak. I certainly wouldn’t be going there again! My advice would be to run faster next time and don’t look back or give the wrong phone number to the guy. If someone is sick on you on the first date, you’d have to really like them to keep going out with them.

Strange Request?

Bathtub Noodles



The ad read:

“I will pay you $1 to sit in my bathtub full of noodles while you wear a one piece bathing suit. I will not be home, nor will anyone else while you do this. I will leave the key for you, and you will sit at your leisure. DO NOT bring any sauce. I will season the pasta after I return home prior to dinner.”

I can’t believe this bloke, why would you want to eat noodles out of a bathtub that someone has sat in….each to their own I guess! It would definitely make for an expensive dining experience. To be honest, considering he could be (probably is) absolutely mental, you would think an offer of more than $1 would be on the table!  It might cost more than that just to get there and back.  Plus, what if you don’t already have a one-piece bathing suit.  Plus, when you think about it, if he’s not going to be home, how’s he going to know WHAT you wear?  Does a one piece flavor the pasta differently than a two piece?

Teeth

Teeth

The ad read:

I left my Dentures in your Silverado last night. I gave you my number but did not get yours. Please call me asap. I need my teeth. We met in the parking lot of Margarita Jones. Get back to me asap please. Thank you.”

Some disturbing thoughts came to mind as to why someone would have taken out his or her (we’re guessing it’s a her) teeth in an someone’s car in the first place.  But, even if you can push that image out of your mind’s eye, how drunk did the person have to be to forget their teeth?  It’s a crazy world we live in, Folks.

Killer Kitten

Killer Kitten

The ad read:

“This destructive kitty has been trained as a proud warrior and will fiercely defend your house, even against you. Has a very soft and furry belly, like a teddy bear – however he will bite your face if you try to touch it. For the love of God, someone please take this thing out of my house.”

Maybe the kitty doesn’t like you because you poke it in the tummy all the time?!

Juggling Sharp Objects

Sharp Objects

The ad read:

“Would you like to learn to throw knives or already know how but would like a friend to throw with? well I’ve got the knives and nowhere to throw them I even have wood and/or logs to throw at. Knife throwing is a great cardio workout and improves your coordination it’s a fun and friendly activity that all ages can enjoy.”

Hmm, the enthusiasm is a tad off-putting.

Tomato Sauce, Anyone?

Ketchup Packets

“This is a collection of ketchup packets from around the world. approximately 25 countries are represented here, including japan, finland, estonia, greenland, brazil, and portugal. none of the packets have been opened and they are labeled with their home country. Collection comes in decorative box with ducks on it.”

Did the person actually travel around the world and collect these packets of ketchup?  Or, did they buy a collection of ketchup packets (housed in a decorative duck box) on eBay thinking they’d make a bundle?

Bridesmaids Needed

Bridesmaids

“So, my fiancee and I are getting married in June. He has 8 groomsmen lined up and I only have one bridesmaid. So, I need some girls who are attractive and around my age to stand up in my wedding. You can be single or taken. It doesn’t matter….you just have to be hot. But, not hotter then me. Email me for more information. The wedding will be in Madison and you won’t have to pay for a thing.”

Surely there can’t be people out there with no friends able to be bridesmaids at your own wedding? I feel quite sorry for her actually! Hopefully, she got lots of replies and made a few more friends.  Hot ones.

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